Relationships  Long distance relationship tips (good for normal relationships or obsessive partners too)

Personally, I hate long distance relationships. I was in one with the guy mentioned below and we never saw each other, rarely spoke, and didn't have anything to say to one another half the time. Granted, I still love him, but I think I'll wait until we can live in the same area. It works better that way.

Meeting people when you're a lazy bum that sits at home constantly
You need a partner that's a real homebody... and loner type.. This will probably be hard to find because, like you, they sit at home constantly. 

  • Try internet dating. If you're ugly or cant communicate textually, then you're screwed on that basis...
  •  Try going to a party for once in your life (don't worry.. you'll never have to do this again if you do it right the first time)... Become best friends with the biggest wallflower there. Most likely, they are a loner and therefore sit at home constantly like you.. 
  • School/work is also a great place to make friends and life bonds
Once you get a date, invite them to your house.. (no. not for sex...) watch a movie, play video games together (having an xbox 360 live can also get you a girlfriend/boyfriend or help you make friends), make a bonfire outside, roast crap on it, make them dinner, do other sit-around-the-house-cause-you're-a-lazy fuck… activities. 

Good Luck

To be honest, I'll probably talk mostly about my own relationship... Or lack thereof. 

My main problem/concern with relationships is loving people that are not able or willing to love me or not being enough for people. I'm kinda moody so I can be a hand full... >_>

Despite all this, I still claim to be deeply and madly in love with a man named Cory <3

<< We used to look a little something like this <3

               Now, it's more like this >>

Where I'm emotional because I miss him like Hell and he's annoyed because I shouldn't be so obsessive when I'm the one that ended it in the first place.... u_u

Story time??? I think so....
Well, we met at school.. He was a super senior. I was a sophomore. He required another art credit and I just happened to like art, so we ended up in Drawing 2 together and wound up making **vv this vv**
Isn't it just beautiful!?!? It's my sad attempt at graffiti... 

Anyhow, We did things like talk on Facebook.. and went bowling (which I fail at.. so he won).. and I went to his birthday (where he flipped me on my side and dragged me down the stairs and stuff... lol. He's playful like that). He would bring me things at school -- things I really liked like cans of rootbeer or  bacon which he missed the bus once making or extra cake from the party which I pretended was on fire.. and killing the cake people... >:D

Needless to say, I did more eating than drawing in that class... :)

Other days, he would be cranky and not talk to me.. or I would be tired and ignore him and it would piss him off. One of these days he decided to wipe blood on me.. Twas very awkward... O_e
Another one of these days when he had found something out about me that wasn't exactly decent, he spent a whole day talking to me about how I was "acting like a whore"... which royally pissed me off.... but it was understandable at the same time..  :/

And on May 11th, 2011 - he asked me out <3  *It was unbelievable with the things he had learned about me.. and I was hesitant.. because of a previous relationship and like I said... we're both kinda moody*

The first time we hung out as a couple -- outside of school -- we walked to the nearby grocery store because at the time he was a smoker and needed smokes... While we were there he got me a bag of gummy worms. :) And though it seems silly and stupid, I got extremely surprised at little things that were normal for couples because he just didn't seem like the type... like when I kissed him for the first time. I gave him a quick kiss before I left his house as if I were a shy little girl that had never kissed a boy before. Just one cute, soft peck on the lips, then I ran out and later he told me had I not kissed him he would've kissed me.

One of the most surprising actions was when he grabbed my hand and held it as we walked for the first time -- especially since he wears gloves every day to avoid touching other beings. After that, for me, sometimes, he would take them off.

Everything was calm in this way. It was beautiful, silent, still. We didn't do much.. Kinda just hung out, shared the music we liked, talked in the hallways at school. He would do sweet things like continue to bring me food and still kiss me when I was sick. <3

But things got really sad when school stopped and we couldn't see each other every day; Even worse than that, he had to leave for a while. I remember he once told me "I cried..." when? "today..." why? "I missed you..." It was little things like that that broke my heart. And when he got back, I couldn't see him. I had to leave town to go see my brother, so the pain went on..

Another thing I found completely crazy was when he first said he loved me **June 6, 2011 <3* This was through text and I pretty much responded with confusion and unsure feelings, but when I asked if he regretted it because of my reaction, he said "why should I? ^_^". What was even more surprising was when he told me he loved me to my face... and I didn't know how to respond. It wasn't that I didn't love him.. I just didn't expect it... But he didn't listen to this. He just curled up, faced the couch back, and ignored me.. :/

This happened a couple times..
There was no doubt that we had problems... We were both too hurt and too emotional from our pasts -- both the childhood traumas and the recent fumbles at love. Things often got too far and we would fight. 3 times this had resulted in Cory trying to break up with me. But as worthless as he told me he felt, I still reminded him that I needed him. "I thought you didn't need people?" he said... My heart-felt reply? "I didn't think i did either, but I do. I need you". 

Of course, it wasn't always bad. We had a lot of great times; We would usually just act like kids. We used to curl up together and watch old movies like the Nightmare Before Christmas, we would play Pokemon, sometimes we just hung out and did pretty much nothing, but my favorite was going to concerts. <3


The first concert was a bit of a hassle. The day before I had died my hair purple and gotten my clothes ready. The day of, I had to wake up my friend so she could give me a ride and then we met Cory and his friends there. I spent a lot of the time with my friend because Cory didn't like the same music as me and liked the violent stuff more than I did -- aka I was not about to drag my weak ass into the mosh pit just to get mauled. We did silly things with his friends like put on mustaches and Cory put on a banana suit which I still have a picture of -- SEE ***vvvvvvvvvvv It's right there.... lol vvvvvvvvv***

However, it was meshed with a lot of me being jealous and quiet, him being jealous of my friend because she was in fact my ex girl friend who still liked me, Cory was smoking **even though he had promised to quit**, and at the end of the day I was in a bit of trouble with my mom for staying after my friend had gone home...
The second concert was better because it was just me and him listening to the bands from our childhoods. We didn't fight. We didn't even have a slight conflict. We spent most of it just laying in the grass and talking. What I loved even more about it was that when I got too tired, he gave me a piggyback ride up about 3 flights of stairs. I was just that precious to him. <3
When things went sour.... They went REAL sour. It only took me a few texts to explain that I couldn't do this anymore -- all the up and down emotions, all tiresome fighting over stupid little things that didn't matter. I still loved him but I wasn't doing him any good and I wasn't getting any better. Mostly, I blamed our emotions. Underneath, I blamed myself for not being able to fix it. Ultimately, it wasn't working....

So I got a new boyfriend -- an old friend that reminded me of Cory -- to try and soothe the pain but i just made it worse for Cory... So I would stay up on the phone with Cory and try the worst things to get him to go away, to try and get him to move on. He's better off without me I thought. I'm helping him even if it hurts him now I told myself...
But it hurt to hurt him.. </3

All of it got jumbled. I fought for him to hate me, I couldn't be his friend because I got jealous of the one girl he hung out with, and when it was too late, I realized how stupid I was. 

I dropped the boy I was dating, who really didn't like me for what I was going through while I was with him. I was still hung up over Cory and it was horribly obvious... but that didn't change the fact that now Cory was  moving back to his hometown. His uncle had gotten sick of him and Cory had gotten sick of me. 

So I wound up like this....
Since then, he's talked to me on and off while I try to find anyone and everyone to cling to.. But every time, I just start complaining and whining about how I miss Cory, so everyone leaves me.

Often times Im left in the corner like this.. Cause that's the emo girl I am.

The good news is that a little over a week ago, he actually tried to come visit me (though it failed, I'm still amused that he offered to see me after all the things I've said and done). He should be able to see me within the next month he corrected and now I'm in waiting. Silently, monotonously, I live my life just hoping to see him again...

I have lost my will for all other things over this year. I no longer try to succeed in a world I will one day fade from. Sustaining my living is purely based on the factors that I shall set out without bills, without government. Soon I will have a solar-powered home with a huge garden, my own Garden of Eden where I am free to eat every fruit without paying a cent. What more could I want besides love? Most of all, what will escaping do to my chances at getting Cory back? 

For now, I just hoover in the moment that I am able to contact him.. waiting for him to message me first, scared I'll scare him away, wishing I could make him smile that smile that meant so much to me, knowing that being intimate with any other person isn't even an option (because I never want to be close to another person the way I was close to him).. searching for my little memory I have of him in every person I meet and holding on to it....

I became merely a shadow of him...

I have found that my faith is in love. My God is it's pure essence. Love is what shall make me truly happy.

It's all that I'm missing.
It's all I desire.
Love is my 

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